Minsan, Minahal Kita
instead of answering surveys na paulit-ulit lang, blog na lang.hehe!
i was watchin tv yesterday. after the “totally spies”, i checked the other channels hoping to find a good movie. hbo,nah….old movie; starmovies,napanood na; fox crime,dko trip. channel 26..cinema one..tagalog movies..hmmm…kaumpisa lang..sige na nga!
it’s a Sharon Cuneta and Richard Gomez’ movie entitled “MINSAN,MINAHAL KITA”. since ka-umpisa lang and the title is kinda interesting, pinanood ko na ng walang kakurap-kurap! but then, wala pa sa kalagitnaan nilipat ko na! know why? because i hate their characters! richard is inlike with sharon. he keeps on calling her(and he knows that sharon is already married!) to set a lunch/dinner saying na it’s work related but the real reason is that he just want to see her! hindi ko na tinuloy dahil sa title pa lang, parang alam ko na ang nangyari!
bakit may mga ganung lalake. na alam na nga nilang may asawa na yung babae, gora parin sila! and sometimes, sa sobrang pangungulit nila,nadadala na yung babae. i know may fault din yung babae dahil nagpadala siya but then, hindi mangyayari yan kung tumigil yung guy. i dunno kung kulang ba sa pansin yung lalaki, o wala bang nagmamahal sa kanya kaya pati may asawa pinapatulan nya OR sadyang epal lang sila!
Malamang nagtataka na kayo bakit super affected ang drama ko eh movie lang naman yun, eh kasi i know someone whose family experienced that kind of shit. And i can still feel her pain hanggang ngayon kahit na medyo okay na family nya.
she almost lost herself ng dahil diyan. she never thought na mangyayari yan sa family nya. family na almost perfect. family na tinitingala nya, mommy nya na idol nya,mommy nya na sumira ng lahat. nang dahil sa lalaki. am glad nagiging okay na ulit sila ng mom nya. kahit na nahihirapan siyang tanggapin na ginawa ng mommy nya yun.
“Tao lang ako, natutukso rin”, mga palusot nga naman ng mga tao. yan ba dapat lagi irason? bakit, tao pa ba ang tingin mo sa sarili mo pag nagawa mong sumira ng hindi lang isang buhay? astig ka naman nun!
that’s the problem with us. we always use our eyes and hearts without consulting it to the highest part of the human body, the brain. hindi na ba importante ang utak pagdating sa pag-ibig? hindi na ba importante ang utak at kelangan init ng mga mata at katawan ang kelangang unahin?
napaka selfish nating lahat. yung iba umabot na sa point na wala na silang pakielam sa feelings ng ibang tao mapasaya lang ang sarili. Magsisisi lang sa huli kapag nakasira na sila ng pamilya. and to make the situation worst, wala pa silang pakielam. Palibhasa kasi hindi pamilya nila ang nasira o kaya kasi wala namang sisirain sa pamilya nila dahil matagal ng sira.
pero kelangan bang mang-damay? kelangan ba “sira ang pamilya ko, dapat yung iba sira din ang pamilya para fair!” , ganun ba dapat? sinira mo na ang buhay mo pati buhay ng ibang tao eh sinira mo na din. kung hindi ka ba naman abnormal!
isa lang masasabi ko sayo tsong, “tigas ng mukha mo!”.
*sa mga tao na sumira,sumisira at sisira pa lang ng pamilya, mag-isip-isip ka na, andami mo ng sinaktan at sasaktang tao, magpaka-TAO ka naman!
* at sa mga taong nagpadala sa dulas ng dila, isipin mo muna ang pamilya mo. wag kang makasarili. hindi ka na lang sana bumuo ng pamilya.
* at sa mga taong ang rason kung bakit sila nangaliwa ay dahil hindi na sila masaya sa pamilya nila, wala kang karapatan irason yan dahil walang dapat sisihin kundi ang sarili mo. ikaw ang may kasalanan kung bakit nangyari yan sa pamilya mo at sa sarili mo. dapat lagi nating tandaan na walang dapat sisihin sa mga nangyayari sa buhay natin kundi ang mga sarili natin. kayang maayos ang lahat, na sayo na yun kung pano.
sa mga taong tinamaan, alam kong magagalit kayo. bakit? dahil nagsasabi ako ng TOTOO.
Uncategorized | Comment (1)Lookin Back
Jade and I planned to meet up last saturday in their new house (which i found out 2 yrs na pala sila dun!). Excited ako coz’ it was almost 4 yrs since the last time i visited roy and jade in their place.
i was riding in a tricycle when highschool mem’ries came flooding back. Parang kahapon lang naka-school uniform pko tapos nakasakay sa tricycle goin to jade’s place para lang makipag-chismisan. Bumaba ako sa kanto nila roy(at nagreklamo pa sa driver dahil ang mahal ng pamasahe!). Dun ako sunduin ni jade dahil dko lam address nila.
Jade arrived and we walked goin’ to their house kasi malapit lang naman. And while walkin, we begun talking dirty to dirty shit people! Verna mode kung verna mode drama namin dahil sa sobrang inis! Pagdating sa house nila, pansamantalang naputol ang usaping “true friends” para bigyang daan ang papuri ko sa kanilang new house at sa kanyang rooftop. Pero pagpasok ng room nya, syempre back to the topic ulit, “true friends!”.haha!
We called roy over the phone and we decided to pick him up in their house coz according to him eh mababasa daw siya ng ulan! Pagpunta namin kay roy,
feeling namin ni jade parang nasa highschool parin kami (sensya na,todo drama nga kami) dahil halos walang nagbago sa house nina roy.
We saw roxanne(roy’s younger sister),our tropa’s baby and she’ll be graduating na this year(congrats!). Since nasa verna mode kami ni jade, si roxanne and naging shock absorber namin!haha!
After 10 yrs.,5 tumblings at 3 kembot, natapos na din magbihis si roy and we went back at jade’s place. Nakausap namin si NAY(jade’s mom) before goin upstairs bout’ what’s happenin now in our life and how bitchy our feelings right at that moment(in short nagsumbong kami kay NAy!!) “nako naman..,para kayong mga nasa highschool na naman!”.
After the sumbungan episode, we went in the rooftop para ipagpatuloy ang chikahan. We talked about our silliest and funny moments we had way back in highschool…
> one time, napagtripan namin ni roy na asarin si IKEYA. “ganyan ka naman Keya, lalapit ka lang pag may kelangan ka”, “wala kang kwentang kaibigan!”, “manggagamit!”. Ikeya’s heart begin to break into pieces. She went running inside their classroom and slumped herself on the floor while crying her heart out! “OMG, Roy si Keya naiyak na!” We followed her and our souls had drowned when we saw her. We embraced her and told her that we’re just kiddin’ around. “we love you so much keya!”..”ok…bati tayo ha..”, “ok!”, bati na kami ulit! And we did something stupid again to Keya, the Jollibee’s “double-double!”,haha!(we love you keya!)
> we only attended our CAT on the last week na(CAT grad). Most of us in the tropa kasi are varsity players and we very much enjoyed the privileged of not marchin’ in the field!Since we don’t know how to march the “CAT way” and to hold the rifle in a proper way, we messed around. And instead of focusing on practice for the CAT Graduation and getting scared in the eyes of the platoon leader, we just laughed, fooled around and hit each other’s butt with the rifle! We even acted like we’re sooo dizzy we need to rest(andun lang kami sa puno at natutulog!!)
> who can forget the “grendel’s mother is wearing a red dress!” (grendel’s mother is an ugly beast and our teacher is wearing a red dress!) martin, kris, maricon, john paul and I was put into the death chamber bec. of that!haha!
> we had a another day at roy’s place just to eat and fool around. Mars was busy that time she can’t come. Bitchyness strikes us again, ” wala kang kwentang friend!magaling ka lang pag may kelangan ka..blah-blah..” Mars was already crying and no one wants to talked to her over the phone(coz we’re busy watchin a movie)! Monday came and we embraced Mars telling her how much we love her and it’s just a joke!bati na ulit!
> on our last year in high school, we’re sooooooo pissed off to our ex-friend.
(she’s bad kasi,we did everything for her but then, tigas ng mukha nya!). And we’ll do everything para iwasan siya at di nya kami makita. She was on the other building and she’s on her way to us(!!!!), sa sobrang taranta namin, we crawled in the corridor in our uniforms! we knocked all the doors on our way(while crawling) hoping and praying that
someone will open the door! Alas! The heaven has opened its door to us to save us from the devil! we went inside the room hoping that we could relax but then, something happened!the person who opened the door was possessed by an evil spirit! he was talkin to himself, throwing, kicking the chairs! we’re so shocked we can’t remember how we managed to get out in the STARry room!
> 2 of our ka-tropa fought because of “PINYA”
> goin out after class for band practice, eating big kwek-kwek
> Ann and I quarreled bec of “pink hair doctor”! we didn’t talk for two weeks!haha!
> some of our ka-tropa fought bec of one guy(ehem!).
> we exchange letters every hour during class and talked over the phone for hours at home!
> we won the 1st place in the battle of the bands, went out to treat everyone in Burger King!
>Ann gathered the 1st place in Ms. High School and jade’s dance group got the trophy and we’re all screaming(especially me,kasi nagpustahan kami ni jade ng lunch!) coz’ all efforts has paid!
Natatawa kami pag naaalala naming ang mga yun. Ang babaw-babaw ng kaligayahan namin..haha! Dami pang chikahang naganap. From past lovelife and crushes nung highschool, mga buntis na,nanganak at nag-asawa sa batch.so many things had happened and sooooo many things has change. But one thing is for sure, we still keep eachother in our hearts no matter what.
haha!haba na pala! hinatid pa pala ako sa house ng
parents ni jade, shet parang highschool lang talaga!
hehe! I love my TRUE FRIENDS!
see yah on roy’s b-day!
Uncategorized | Comment (0)LAMANG-LUPA, NGA-NGA At DAING NA ISDA
If I’m depressed, or if my life is astray, I give myself five reasons why I should be
happy. And before I realized it, my lousy feelings left me and I felt happy.
But
sometimes, even a hundred reasons can’t make me feel happy. So what I
do, I pack my things[it includes my lovable 5 yr. old gray tent, my off
lotion, my flashy flashlight, kikay kit(I go with the saying "when all
else fails, look gorgeous!"), my small Ferrari toy car(thanks peter!),
my friendly toothbrush, deodorant that saves the day,and some
clothes(whew!)], wear my hoodies and sneakers, then off I go. And where
am I going? I dunno..
I ride the jeepneys and buses without looking the sign board or asking manong driver
the destination. I focused on one thing, MYSELF.
I’ve reached different places and met different people. A lot of stories to tell,and
gazillions of things that I’ve learned. But there was one place and one person that
really made a mark in my life….
I was walking for almost 3hrs.(and it’s already 6pm) when i felt that my bones has
already loss its stored calcium. So I stopped and sat on the big odd-looking rock in
front of me. I looked in the sky but failed to see them, for the gigantic trees has
blocked my view as if doing it in purpose. I’m so tired and all the emotions are
starting to sink in my heart and mind. And what do you expect to happen? eh di
umiyak ako! I cried with all my heart and soul, knowing no one was around but the
trees
and mosquitoes(thanks to my OFF Lotion it saved me from Dracula’s
battalion!).When all of a sudden, I felt someone was standing behind
me(talkin’ bout six sense!).I could’ve kick that person right on that
moment for disturbing my "dramahan episode"!But when I looked back, I
froze to death! Is that a lamang-lupa?! Do i have to run? Did I already
brushed my teeth? What’s the color of fetus lea’s nail polish again?
Where did I put my Blistex lip gloss?! In short, hindi ako makapag-isip
ng maayos! My mind was telling me that I’m so scared but my heart is
telling me that the lamang-lupa has a benevolent heart(though my heart
is beating madly and wants to get-out of my chest and go home!)!
"Ineng,
nawawala ka ba?", "Saan ga ang punta mo?", the lamang-lupa asked. And
out of nowhere i answered, "sa sementeryo,huhukayin ko ang katawan
ko..(with matching apathetic face). The lamang-lupa’s jaw fell to the
ground and it’s her time to shine (her face so frozen it shines!)! I
chuckled and held my hand(i already regained my consciousness)to the
lamang-lupa while wiping my tears with my other dirty hand. "Ako po si
Nef. Nag-iikot-ikot lang po ako." The lamang-lupa smiled. And from that
moment, I’ve found a new friend.
And that lamang-lupa is none
other than Lola Egay(fine,i admit I’m wrong!she’s not a
lamang-lupa!).Familiar name? yup, the Bagyong Egay(it hit the
Philippines last August 2007). Kung gaano kalakas ang dating ng Bagyong
Egay, ganun din ang dating ni Lola Egay. She’s gifted. She has
cellulite deposits with interest compounded daily. She has the biggest
lips(mahihiya sina Angelina Jolie and Gretchen Barreto sa kanya!),
crooked teeth and a mouth full of nga-nga! Her shoulder-length hair so
white as the snow(that’s why I thought she’s a lamang-lupa!) and the
dark chocolate brown skin which she says "Yaan ang tunay na kulay ng
Pilipino!"(nahiya naman ako bigla,ayoko na tuloy gumamit ng placenta
soap!).
Bukod sa tunay na Pilipinong anyo ni Lola Egay, ano nga
ba and dahilan kung bakit ang lakas ng dating ni Lola Egay sa’kin? Eh
kasi…pinakain nya ko(kahit na tinakot ko din sya ng
bonggang-bongga!). Rice na may kasamang dahon na mahaba(which i’ve
found out it’s pandan leaves pala), dried fish(pa-sosyal effect) at
kapeng barako na talagang nagpagising ng diwa ko! Naramdaman nya
sigurong patay-gutom ako kaya pinagluto nya pa ako ng "PAYLESS" noodle
soup na pinagkatago-tago pa ata ni Lola Egay ng ilang dekada.
While eating, I really can’t help myself but to look at her. Am I fascinated with
Lola Egay’s charms? and the answer? YES. The way she truthfully smile at me(with
matching
nga-nga), and the way she looks at me with a pure heart. Her everything
is perfect. The most perfect person I’ve ever met in my entire life.
All
throughout my stay in her small but very comfortable bahay-kubo, she
never asked me why she’d found me crying in the woods, and what i’m
doing there, alone. She just let me stay. She taught me how to make
daing na isda and how to make polvoron. I even accompanied her in the
market to sell her daing and polvoron. And oh! she also taught me how
to chew nga-nga!hehe! I’ve found a grandma in her and she found a
granddaughter in me which she never had(her son is in manila and still
single at the age of 49.<usisain daw ba si lola?!>).
Umalis
ako sa munting tahanan ni Lola Egay bitbit ang mahigpit nyang
yakap,panibagong Nef at isang supot ng daing na isda. Sa dami ng pabaon
nya sa’kin na forever ng magiging bahagi ng pagkatao ko(at isang buwan kong ring kakainin), isa namang bahagi ng puso ko ang iniwan ko sa kanya(pati
pala yung placenta soap ko pati Jiaoli binigay ko din sa kanya). Bahagi
na siya lang ang magma-may-ari habang buhay.
To some people,
what Lola Egay did for me was just a small act of kindness. But for me,
it is the most indescribable kindness and love i’d ever felt. And as I
look back, I have tears in my eyes- thinking I couldn’t be this strong and open-minded without Lola Egay in my life.
And to you guys, may you find one Lola Egay in your journey.
OR be a Lola Egay to someone else.
* For Lola Egay- thank you for everything. For transforming me to a better Nef.
You
taught me how to find love in the most unexpected places. And every
time I think of you and your smile, I felt happy. You are more than a
hundred reasons to make me happy. I love you dearly, Lola Egay!
Bitterness
haha! can’t believe am doin this! boredomness swallowing my whole being!haha!
actually am not good in this kind of stuff. wala lang magawa. and am kinda bitter right now. ba’t ba naman kasi nakita ko pa!am like eloise(a disney movie),very usisera!
hays,i dunno if i still like that person or i was glad to see him lang kaya ganito! but then…! i hate it! i must move on and on and on…. but how..?(drama effect)oh well, i think i just have to give my heart away. coz i know, in this shattered condition of my heart, i can feel it whole again..naks!
well anyway, un nga… i was texting tzie kanina.(she’s my apac friend, a med student and a bitch.haha)! i told her buti pa siya she knows na kung ano ba talaga gusto nya sa buhay nya. unlike me, i was standing nowhere. am torn in many ways..(naks). but it’s okey, malalaman ko din yan mamaya paggising ko,haha!
hay…life’s like that. you just have to make choices and be happy.
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